We develop a model of one-dimensional (Conformal) Quantum Gravity. By discussing the connection between Goldstone and Gauge theories, we establish that this model effectively computes the partition function of the Schwarzian theory where the $\operatorname{SL}(2,\mathbb{R})$ symmetry is realized on the base space. The computation is straightforward, involves a local quantum measure and does not rely on localization arguments. Non-localities in the model are exclusively related to the value of fixed gauge invariant moduli. Furthermore, we study the properties of these models when all degrees of freedom are allowed to fluctuate. We discuss the UV finiteness properties of these systems and the emergence of a Planck's length.